Welcome to the Fortress
by Twisted Mackeral
Summary: Bored with castle life, Link's son goes to visit the tribe of warrior women. As you do.
1. Escape

It'll probably take several chapters to get to the part where there is actually any pg-13 stuff going on. Sorry but you're gonna have to be patient.

The second I woke, I knew it would be a great day. It was told in the way the birds sang sweetly in the tree outside the window, the way the perfumed covers were so soft they could swallow you up, how the whole castle was utterly silent at 4am. Outside, the day was already dawning, fresh with possibilities. The sun rose through a clear blue sky, shining over the frost laden grounds, rousing the soldiers in their posts.

I turned in my bed and stared up at the rich hangings that bedecked the four-poster. It would be the last time I saw them, I thought happily, in a long time.

A bowl of poridge stood on the bedside table, steaming gently, begging me to eat it in its stupid poridgy voice (ok im not sure why i put that in). As I ate I wondered vaguely how, no matter how early I woke and no matter how sleepless nights I spent staring at it, there was always a bowl of poridge there come morning. After 10 years, I'd decided it was magic and left it at that.

Soldiers were grunting, water swishing noisily as they fished the nights' drowned wombats out of the castle moat. A hum, like a swarm of distant bees, was slowly growing in volume. Soon servants, maids and ladies in waiting would be padding up and down the corridors, making all the noise of mute rabbits.

I slipped out of bed and across the room into my private bathroom. A basin of fresh water was out andI washed, cleanedmy teeth with extra care- goddeses' knew when I'd be washing them again- and had a shower, a cold one. Then I went back into my room, opened the wardrobe and selected a green tunic.

There was a knock at the door.

"Come in."

The door remained shut. Instead, one of the mahogany panels swung open and something like a tennis ball came in. I say 'like' because, unlike a tennis ball, it was glowing faintly, hovering, and had two butterfly wings protruding from its shroud of ethoreal light. Had that glow been removed you would have seen a tiny woman, young in age and naked in....clothes, like a tiny little angel.

I was half naked myself but it was nothing the fairy hadn't seen before. Patiently, she waited untill I was fully clothed and then said, in a voice oozing disgust, "I see your going through with this foolishnes then?".

Ignoring her, I'd turned and was now rumaging in a chest in the corner. With a cry of 'aha', I flourished a green hat and jammed it on my head.

"Yep,"I said. The slight waver of excitement in my voice betrayed me and Navi scowled.

"You're just doing this for fun, aren't you? You do realise your Mother's going to kill you. I do hope you're even thinking of coming back"

Or rather 'I really hope you're NOT coming back but if you dont I'll still have to drag you home by your pointy elf ears'. Navi was great at hidden meanings. She could fit more hidden meaning in per word than an excited english teacher with a poem.

I shrugged. "I'll be back. I mean father will want to see his granddaughters, right?"

Navi glared.

"You will, wont you?!" she demanded. "You'll risk bringing shame on the Royal family of Hyrule just for a night of passion with a...barbarian!"

"Navi, I was joking. Plus it was fathers idea. Go blame him."

She already would have, he knew, over and over, with more repeats per minute than her famous 'lets go to death mountain' saying.

Gingerly, I lifted an ornamental sheild off the wall. It was large, heavy, and made of fur, thus utterly useless as a conventional weapon. As was the ornamental sword. There was no point taking them.

I could use nothing else in the room, I was sure. So I ripped the covers off the bed and began to tear them into strips with my teeth. As soon as I had two strips I tied them together and threw them onto a pile beneath the window.

"What are you doing? You've got to be kidding me?"

Without looking up from his work, I said, "Mother will be waiting for me in the entrance hall. When she cant persuade me she'll use bribery. When bribery doesnt work she'll probably set several guards on me, then the army." I flashed her a quick smile. "And I wouldn't want to hurt anyone on such a fine day."

In a fraction of a second Navi had gone from open-mouthed shock to flying as fast as her wings could carry her out of the door and into the corridor shouting, "He's getting away! Zelda! Zelda! He's getting away!" Wincing theatrically at such open faced betrayal, I looked at his chain of bed sheets. It wasn't long but it would have to do.

Quickly, Itied one end to the bedspread. Then I carried the other end to the window, flung it wide, and threw the chain out.

It fell only about fifty feet, slapping in the sharp breeze against the granite walls of Hyrule castle. Below it stretched another fifty feet before the ground.

I tugged experimantally. The bed stayed solidly where it was soI climbed up onto the window ledge and swung myself over. Then I slid down, hung from the very tip, and dropped.

I had inherited many things offmy father and I was thankfull for them all.Such as the ability to fall extreme distances without breaking my legs. I hit the dirt rolling, turned the roll into a run seamlessly, and hared it away across the wet grounds. The turf was deliciously bouncy beneathmy feet; the air fresh, clear and crisp.

Was I sorry that I was leaving without saying goodbye? No. As far as I was concernedI had said my proper goodbyes last night. I'd made sure of it. If Mother and Father hadn't had the forsight to realise they were actually final goodbyes rather than goodnight goodbyes, well that wasn'tmy problem.

NowI could get away. For a whole year. Guilt free. With the Gerudos.


	2. Caught

I'd only ever seen the town centre of Hyrule a few times. As a prince I was kept contained up at the castle, where I was safe and unlikely to get tarnished by all that common rubbish. I'd always missed the freedom this denied me. Now I was beginning to see things differently. 

For a start the smell was...was...undescribable. It hung in the air, thick as syrup, hitting you in the nose like a ton of bricks and sending you reeling. My eyes ran as the smell of 500 people stewing in their own filth filled my brain.

Then there were the people themselves. How a bunch of...thingsthat looked so rotten and disease ridden could still be alive was a mystery to me. It was like walking into a gang of zombies but instead of wanting to eat my brains they'd rather sell me fish, or a cow's head or a 'good time'. Goddeses knew why father had fought so hard to save them.

The path from the castle led straight into the town centre. There was a fountain in the centre of it, spewing a spout of crystal clear water into the air, and I went and sat on it, partly to to organise my thoughts, mainly because I hoped these people would have a fear of water. I'm sure if I'd brandished a bar soap they would have cowered back, hissing and spitting.

The gerudos were a band of all female, very attractive, well rounded bandits. Obviously a band that is completly female needs one thing, even if it was just to do one thing with that thing, over and over and over again. I had the good fortune to be that thing.

I glanced around but there was nobody who could have remotely passed as a Gerudo. Just a lot of walking disease bags, trying to barter through the fits of coughing. A tiny girl, chasing a chicken, ran past. Over in the corner, a young couple were...MY GOD! In public too!

The Gerudos were famous for their entrances. It was a public event. Crowds would often gather to watch as the men were chosen, rounded up, beaten, and carried off. Mothers would wave off their sons, wives would break down. People enjoyed it almost as much as a public execution.

I was tense. My fingers twitched. My kneck had bolted down the vertibrie ready for a garoting attack. The slightest movement made me jump.

"Hi. May I-"

On impulse, my fist shot out like a piston and caught the salesman in the chest. He flew in a gracefull arc across the square and landed in a crumpled, broken heap in a pile of boxes.

"Woops," I said. "Sorry."

The square had gone deathly guiet. People were turning to look at me. Quickly, muttering apologies, I got up, walked across the frozen scene, and into a back alley.

Poor guy. I'd seen him before, up at the castle, some friend of my fathers. Think he sold masks or something.

The alleyway was dark. It ran behind the back of the tavern and thus was full of empty crates, comatose drunks thrown out of the back door, and a whole lot of rats. The floor was sticky with spilt beer. I leaned against one moist, green wall and let out a long breath. Gotta relax...

Something moved in the darkness. I heard the shuffle of steps, the clatter of empty beer bottles being knocked over. I stood up quickly and stared at the darkness.

"H-Hello?" I called.

No answer.

"Anybody there?"

Again, there was silence. Yet I had the weirdest feeling that something was watching me back there. Measuring me up.

I began to back uptowards the bustling, smelly, sunny square.

And instantly, in a crash of crates and beer bottles, I heard something rush up behind me. A strong arm wrapped about my neck, pulling my head backwards till I stared into the sky. I felt the steps of somebody else stepping out from the shadows infront of me. A second later, my lungs were crushed by an armoured fist. I was released, and dropped to the floor, winded, gasping for the slightest breath.

For a few seconds I saw some black-leather, desert boots, and had enough time for aweak smile before I was hit over the back of the head and the world went black.

It was the suddeness that got me. Yeah. I mean as if a girl could have beaten the Prince of Hyrule on even ground. Ha.


	3. HOW!

Sorry about the cliched story. Sorry about the unimagining writing too. But I suppose it helps occasionally to have a nice, big cliche in there somwhere.

* * *

When I woke, my face was pressed down into perfumed cusions, which was a pleasant change to the back of my head which felt as though it had been smashed in with a sledgehammer. 

As it turned out, it was actually a warhammer.

Risking raising my head a little, Ifound I was laid out on a pile of cusions in a tent. The walls were quite thin, apparently fur, and the light shone through. Furs lined the floor. Furs hung from the ceiling. So did a lot of dead rabbits. Their glassy, dead eyes watched me as they swung gently.

It looked as though it was the tent of a great hunter.

Behind me, I heard the sound of furs being pulled back and light spilled in. I put my head down fast and pretended to be asleep.

The fur slid back into place. A woman stepped into my field of vision. I watched, through slitted eyes, as she took up a book that lay on the floor, sat on the furs before me, and began to read. She wore thin silks, that flowed about her like water. Her long, flame-redhair was pulled back from her face and held there by leather ties.

Her face was very beautiful. Very proud. I was in no doubt who had caught and killed all these things about me. And I was in no doubt what species she belonged to.

It was incredible how a woman like that could remain standing, never mind fight.

I kept quiet.

A few minutes passed. She began to grow restless. She tossed her book away, retrieved her knife, and began to skin one of the ceiling hung rabbits. The blade slid into the fur, seperating skin from flesh in long, easy lines. It looked as easy as peeling potatos with her.

And she smiled whilst she did it. As if she enjoyed it.

Once it was peeled, she hung it up again and then sat back on her haunches. Quickly I shut my eyes as her gaze fell onto me.

"You're awake," she said, in the sort of voice a mother would use for a naughty child. "Why did you pretend to be asleep?"

I looked up and met her gaze. She didn't look angry, simply curious.

"I dont know," I admitted.

"What is your name?"

"My name is Teran."

"My name is Nabooru. You look very much like your father."

She knew my father? That meant if she'd been a supporter of Ganonorf, I wasscrewed. My gaze fell on the knife still held in her hand.

"Don't worry. I won't hurt you."

"Oh...thanks. Nabooru...." I ran the name over my mind. "He's never mentioned you."

Nabooru smiled slowly. "No. I dont suppose he would," she said, her eyes glinting. "I do hope Queen Zelda is well." The tone of her voice said quite flatly that she hoped Zelda was dead. I made a note to ask my father about Nabooru the second I got home.

"Would you like some food, boy? Drink?"

For the first time, I realised how hungry I was. Being quite full when I was knocked out, I wondered how long I had been asleep.

"Yes. Yes, please."

She rose and went to the door of the tent, pulling back the flap and looking back at me where I still sat. "Well? I'm not your waiter you know."

Muttering apologies, I scrambled quickly to my feet and followed her.

It was just coming morning, a pink glow sweeping over the Eastern horizon. Frost clung to the grass and the tents. My breath steamed in the air.

There were about two dozen tents in all, all squat fur ones crowded about the central campfire. Gerudos, their faces tired and surly, their hair tustled, moved about doing important morning camp things like brewing lots of coffee. There was a general air of hangoverness.

"We had a party last night," Nabooru explained. "Try not to make any loud noises."

She sight of Gerudos with such foul features, sickly-green palors, and bloodshot-red eyes stired something deeply hereditary in me. It put me on edge

Nabooru moved across the camp to a pile a kegs. She moved along them, twisting the stoppers on each one but, when nothing came out, she said,"no wine. Must've gotten drunk last night. You'll have to settle for water."

My attention right then was a devided by a young woman who, still in herfur pyjamas, had sidled up to the kegs. She twisted the stopper. Then she twisted it again so hard it came off in her hand. Finally she drove her fist through the wood and walked away, looking disgusted and licking her fist. A tiny trickle of red wine ran down onto the grass.

It was amazing how these people could walk around in clothes that could have been made by skinning a single Gerbil and not freeze solid in seconds. It was also very cool.

I was lead over to the campfire and sat on one of the logs that had been placed about it. Someone had driven huge stakes into the earth at an angle so that whole cows could be impailed on them and hung over the flames. I watched my breakfast roast, drip and blacken before me. Nabooru sat nearby, talking to some others, but I felt her gaze on me always. I knew if I so much as twitched she'd be on me like a shot. We were all prisoners here, even if we never wanted to leave.

And she'd be expecting me to run, wouldn't she. Like father had done.


	4. running out of names

With a wet slurp, the half cooked carcass of the cow slipped down its pole, landing in a charred heap on the frosty ground. Immediately, several Gerudos swarmed over it like gannets. Soon, plates of torn out flesh were being passed around. The other men tucked into it straight away. I prodded mine around the plate, a trail of blood running out behind it, and paled. 

"What's wrong?"

I looked up. Nabooru was there, pulling apart hers with her teeth, like a lioness with a kill.

"Nothing," I mumbled, and bent down to eat.

Once the meal was over, the camp got a lot more hectic. The tents were pulled down and packed away. The great fire was stamped out, the horses led into the centre to warm themselves on the embers whilst being kitted out for the day's walk ahead. I wandered about the camp, feeling lost, and slightly ill, as my breakfast bled in my stomach. A few Gerudos watched me curiously, but seemed too busy to approach me.

When Nabooru had finished pulling down the tent, she signaled me over and led me across to one of the horses. Like all the others it was a huge, black, proud beast. It stared at me with little interest as I scrambled inexpertly onto its back, like it had done this sort of thing many times before. Nabooru climbed in front of me.

"Just hold on around my waist."

I looked down at her toned, bare waist.

"Grow up, kid," Nabooru said. "I can think of a lot of things worse than you just holding my waist."

Grudgingly I did so. And then she dug her ankles into the horse's sides and we were off. The horse leapt forward like a bullet from a gun, ripping out of the encampment, dirt clods flying out behind it. Within seconds, the tents were mere blobs on the horizon, and the whole of Hyrule field was spread out before us but quickly becoming stretched out behind us. The wind roared in my ears and through my hair. For now it was exhilarating: I knew in five minutes my fingers would feel like frozen fish fingers and my nose like an icicle. Nabooru's hair blew out about me. She looked ready to let out a whoop andher eyes shone. Gerudos really are a species born and raised in the saddle.

"What about them?" I roared into the wind, jerking my head in the direction of where the camp had been. "Aren't we waiting for them?"

"We travel alone. There's a set meeting point and we meet up there. Other than that we go our separate ways."

"Isn't that a little lonely?"

She shrugged. "We have our men to keep us company. We prefer to be alone. And, of course, we like stealing each others things so its much easier. Did you see my friend? Avari?"

I shook my head.

"She's got her eye on you, so watch out for her. Goddess knows I need the money."

"Money?"

"Yep. Back home, you get sold. At market. I'm hoping to get a good price on you."

Curiousity overtook me. "How much?"

"5000 rupees. Probably more."

5000 rupees?! The dishes we used to feed the dogs back at the castle cost more than that.

To our right, on the horizon, there was another grey blob, gradually moving behind us. A curl of smoke rose off it.

"What's that?"

"Lon Lon Ranch. We'll steer clear of that."

"Why?"

Nabooru laughed. "Where do you think we got these horses from? Or the cow you had for breakfast"

"You stole them?"

"We steal everything, kid. Where's you hat by the way?"

I felt my head, but the green felt hat that rested there. I turned in the saddle to see if it had fallen off behind us. When I turned back, there it was, resting on the top of Nabooru's head, waving in the wind.

"I believe the term is kleptomania," she smirked, as I took it back. "So anyway, if there's another party tonight, I want you to be on your guard. Watch out for Avari and watch out for the others. Especially if they've been drinking." She paused, bending to whisper something into the horse's ear. "Don't even trust me. No matter what I say, no matter how much I beg and plead and make drunken grabs, WHATEVER happens I do not want you to get into bed with me, understand?"

"Not really," I admitted. "Isn't that what you want to happen?"

She shook her head. "Right now I'm more bothered about the money than you. Untouched merchandise can get nearly double at market, no offense. But when darkness comes and the wine gets flowing, I'll have much different interests indeed. That goes for all of us. Understand? This party could get a little.....heated."


	5. Pass the parcel

With another great cheer, the men were thrown into the air for the fifth time. The world span; star studded, velvet black sky to hundreds of wide,blue eyes staring heavenwards at us, and then sky again. When the Gerudos came back into view, they were several units drunker, and more than half were comatose on the floor, either from drink or because a rival sibling has just beaten them over the head with a club.

It was a drinking game. All the Gerudos filled their tankard, goblet, Wellington boot, etc to the brim with wine, whisky, beer, vodka, ethanol, whatever was lying around. Then they grabbed a male (willing or not. It didn't matter) and threw them 50 feet into the air. Whilst the men sailed into the air, each Gerudo had to drink her drink and be ready to catch him as he fell. Obviously, the last women standing got to keep a man each. Kind of like musical chairs.

Sailing downwards, through a wave of spilled beverage (they liked waving their mugs round as they sang) and temporally airborne mugs that had slipped out of hands, I was caught by 5 women and their snatching, clawing hands. They staggered unstably under the weight, giggling furiously.

More alcohol flowed, and then I was back in the air again.

There seemed to be connections to pass the parcel too. Each time, I seemed to be loosing more clothing. In horror, I noticed my sleeve had been torn off. My faithful hat had been lost long ago.

The moon sailed past and I glared at it for as long as I was able, just as my dad had taught me. Nabooru's face swam past for a moment before I lost it in the sea of bodies beneath. She looked happy at least.

SMACK! My face hit the wet mud. It had happened. That awkward moment, just like in netball back home. The ball would land perfectly between two people, each expecting the other person to get it and neither would get it. The only difference was that the ball was now an injured young man and the players, instead of catching each others eye and laughing, each went to retrieve me at the same time, paused, and dived onto their opponent in a drunken rage.

Hands grabbed me and I looked up into the familiar if not ridiculously happy face of Nabooru. She tried to focus on my face, but her eyes kept crossing and slipping away.

She tried to speak but she was too drunk. It just came out as, "I wuv zu". Then, with a hug, I was flying through the air.

It was bad thrown. I flew abouttwenty metres intoa keg, which exploded.

And that's where I lay for the rest of the night, buried beneath the crumpled remains of a beer barrel, unnoticed, untouched, unconscious.

Damn her.


	6. Hello

"How did you do, child?" I was asked, as me and Nabooru sat around the morning camp fire, bleary eyed and tired.

"You threw me into a barrel," I replied.

"Sorry, don't remember a thing last night." Then she smirked. "Though I do remember this morning."

"You found somebody then."

"Maybe..." she said smugly.

"Who?"

"You want to know his name?" she asked incredulously.

"You don't know?"

The leg of pork that Nabooru had been wrestling at with all the ferocity of a very hung-over Gerudo gave up its last tatters of flesh and she tossed it away and rose.

"If we meet him again I'll show you. Come, we have a hard days riding to do. With any luck, we'll reach home by noon."

* * *

"Wake up, child. We are here." 

"Wha? Whazzat?"

I stretched and yawned and found I was laid on a bed of hay.

"We have reached your new home."

I opened my eyes, only to find myself staring at a horse's ass. I laughed.

The room we were in was a stable, I knew as much. Metre wide stocks lined the walls, many occupied, and hay covered the floor. The sounds of many horses all champing and stamping and whinnying filled the place. There were no windows, only burning torches in sconces, and the walls were roughly cut. I guessed this place had been carved straight out of rock.

"This is Gerudo fortress?"

Nabooru nodded. She was busy unfastening the buckles and removing the saddle from her horse. That done, she threw the lot over her shoulder and moved out into the aisle, closing the stall door behind her.

"Where are you going?"

"Tonight you will sleep here with the horses. Just tonight. It is tradition. It will teach you humility and it will humble you. Oh, and this place is guarded so no escaping, ok?"

"But-but-but-"

"No buts. You must honour tradition."

"What about the smell?"

"I'm sure the horse's wont mind."

"What if it rolls over and crushes me?"

"Then you shall learn an important lesson in sleeping with horses. Goodnight."

"Stupid, stinking horses," I growled, an hour later, when I still couldn't sleep.

I got up and went looking around for a free stall but there were none. In doing so though I found the place was much larger than I before predicted. It was about the length and width of a cathedral. There must've been at least 300 hundred horses there.

When I got back, I found that Nabooru's horse had gotten out and had its head stuck firmly in the grain bag, which was odd as I could've sworn I'd locked the door behind me. I spent several minutes trying to yank the beast away from the food until, defeated, I unhooked the bag from the wall and took it into the stall with me. After coazing the animal into a corner, I chose the opposite one and threw myself down onto a bed of hay.

My body connected with something soft beneath me. I gave a small yelp as the hay erupted around me and two arms rose through the dark to clamp painfully around my mouth, nose, and under my chin. Two legs tied themselves around my waist and squeezed, forcing the air from my lungs, winding me.

To say I was tired, winded and fighting half-blind in the darkness I fought well. I managed to get to my feet and smash the thing on my back against the walls a few times.It screamed each time and dug its nails in until the blood ran down my neck butstill it clung on like a limpet in a storm. And, while it still had my lungs in an iron grip, it was only a matter of time before it took me down. The room began to grow fuzzy and distant. The crushing pain eased into a vague warmness.

My legs wavered and buckled. I fell, the heavy weight pulling me down. A few centimetres from the floor, an arm passed my face and stopped us both. Just before I drifted into unconsciousness, I felt my head being lowered gently to the floor.


	7. Auction begins

"What in Din's name happened here?!"

Eugh. Why did she have to wake me? Couldn't she let me lie here andheal for a month?

I felt arms lift me up. I staggered as the blood rushed to my head, and grabbed a post for support.

My entire bodyfelt likea mass of bruises. My eyes were almost too swollen to open and when I did they ran so much that everything became a blur. Checking my lip gingerly, I found it was split. When I touched it, it began to bleed openly again.

"Nabooru?"

"I'm right here. Here, I found your clothes."

"Is this because of my dad?" I asked.

"It's possible. I think it's much more likely that this was done by somebody with very little money who wants you cheap at auction. They left your face pretty much intact, see? And there will be no scarring."

"How nice of her," I growled.

My back felt like it had been whipped. I parted my bloated eyelids and discovered tiny, red bite marks on my calves, my chest and my neck.

A bundle that certainly wasn't my clothes was pushed into my arms. It was armour, made up of soft overlapping pieces ofwhite leather. It seemed mainly ornamental and showy.

"I have to wear this?"

"Only for today and a few certain festivals. You'll get used to it."

Her voice was growing ever more distant as she spoke. I opened my eyes to see her marching away down the stalls.Later, as I dressed, it seemed she had found one of the night guards and the air was turned black with cursing.

It was agony putting on the close-fitting, knobbly armour over my tender skin. It was torture to move too and, on top of that, I felt so stupid. There was something about the cheap fakery of proper warrior clothing thatinsulted some part of me. You couldn't turn in the damn thing, and it was stiff and difficult to even move in, let alone fight.

Nabooru was returning, looking proud with herself.

"Good news," she smiled. "I've had words with the head guardswoman and she says it'll be possible to explain your condition during sale. She is even willing to liken your natural beauty to that of a desert flower and your stamina to wild oxen."

"What?!"

"I know. I wanted the suppleness of a well soaked reed but I guess you can't have it all. Are you ready? You may find the heat a little striking, by the way."

Yet another incredible understatement. The sun roared down out of a cloudless sky, ripping the moisture out of everything, tearing away any shade. I staggered under the weight of light suddenly pounding on my shoulders.

Nabooru's arm tugged me swiftly across the parched ground to where a tent had been erected. It was relatively cooler inside and I wasordered to stay whilst she went to get some people.

The tent was largely empty; there was a table on which stood an urn of the very weak orange juice that always turns up in tents on hot summer days at some sort of gathering of people (sports day for example). I poured myself a drink and poured the rest over my head.

Outside, the pre-auction entertainment was just starting. The men had been lined up against a wall and milling around them were about 100 Gerudos. The women kept doing things like kicking them in the shins to observe the reaction or hitting them with buckets of freezing cold water. One man had broken down into tears and the other Gerudo were now ignoring him.

There was a feel that this was as much a social gathering as a business one. I spotted a Gerudo selling rats-on-a-stick from a trailer and a group of Gerudo children sat on one of the ledges of Gerudo fortress, giggling and throwing rats feet down onto the men below.

Nabooru moved among them, tapping shoulders, announcing something, and then pointing out my tent. And steadily a trail of Gerudos were breaking away and advancing on the tent.

They were likethe old womenwe used to get around Hyrule Castlereally; with their sole aim of pinching and pulling the skin off me. They kept giving orders. "Run on the spot" was one of them. Also "jump thrice" and, worst of all, "sing your favourite song". They also kept pawing greedily at my hair like brain hungry re-dead which unnerved me somewhat.

"What's your favourite colour, man?

"I dunno....green?"

"Favourite food?"

"Forest larvae." That was met with a number of puzzled looks.

"Stewed," I added.

"Which would you rather own: the rose or the dirt that grew it?"

"That's easy. The rose, of course."

"But could the dirt not bear an infinite number of roses? Would that not be better?"

I admitted that I'd never grown a rose in my life and wouldn't know how. This apparently wasn't the desired answer.

"Do you like tomato soup?"

"Yes."

"Chicken soup?"

"Yes."

"Oysters?"

"Not really."

"On a journey you are met with a mountain. Do you go around, over, under or through the obstacle?"

"Do these questions have any relevance to-?"

"Just answer."

"Ok, then. I'd probably go over. It'd depend on-"

"If we're having sex, how long do you last?"

Silence. Well, not exactly silence; a faint murmur of disgust and a shuffle of feet as everybody backed off from the speaker. I knew immediately that this was a question a Gerudo just didn't ask.

This quiet migration away from the speaker eventually revealed her. There she stood, in the doorway, smirking gently at the crowd around her.

"What? You're all thinking it."

She was the first teenage Gerudo I'd seen. Shewas abouthalf a foot shorter than the others. Yet she owned the room. One could feel the power radiating off her, see the fire that raged in her eyes.

The eyes....dark and violet, like holes cut out of the world. One could almost think one could loose yourself in them, fall into them and keep on falling. For eternity.

I shook myself mentally.

"Well?"

How do you answer a question like that?

"I...don't know."

"Give me an estimate. What, a day? Two days? A week?"

A few Gerudo laughed. Was she mocking me?

"A-aslong as you want."

The girl smiled and nodded.

"Thanks. That's good. See you at auction then."

She gave a last glance of something a lot like contempt to the crowd, turned on her heel and left.

The crowd surged in once more. The noise returned in a second.

Just then, a bell rang and a voice, strangely amplified, said, "Ladies! Ladies! If you please, we have an auction to get through today so, if you'd just like to put them down and take your places, we can begin handing them out! Auction will begin in ten minutes!"


	8. Auction ends

"First up, a dashing specimen of manhood. I'll start the opening bid at 3500 rupees." 

It was over in seconds. Watching from the back, I saw a flicker of hands in the crowd, heard the auctioneer garble a rush of words, and then the man was being handed down from the stand to a waiting Gerudo with an exchange of rupees.

Another of the men at the end of the line was tugged away. The poor guy was bullied down the aisle with vicious prods and forced up on stage.

I, having been added late to the other end, would be the last up.

A few latecomers to the auction looked me over, as we waited. I was learning that the blonde hair of my family was a great asset in this part of the world; attracting Gerudos like it were solidgold.

The line dwindled sickeningly quickly. There was only half to go. Then there were only four. Then three. Two. The last one.

The guy was sold off to a ridiculously fat Gerudo for 6800 rupees. I let out a sigh of relief that the woman had finally gone before my turn.

My stomach had melted and gone. Facing huge armoured spiders and demented sorcerers I could take, but not being judged like this. I wasn't ready to find out the worth a woman saw in me, the material price they were willing to put on my head. My legs refused to move, which was convenient because I had no intention of making them.

Nabooru jabbed me in the back, painfully forcing me to take a step forward. Just one.

She jabbed me again, and again, and again and again and again until I was stood before the stage. The Gerudo up there knelt down, grasped the colar of my leather tunic, and lifted me easily up on stage.

Something like three dozen pairs of eyes surveyed me. I sought out Nabooru's and latched myself onto them, attempting to convey either murderous rage or despair. I got neither across, and she stared back, calmly and coolly, arms akimbo, a smile on her lips.

"A somewhat bruised piece up last today, ladies, but quality none the less. A little blondie, 6 foot, no older than twenty so good mileage on this thing. Strong as an ox by the looks of it. Tough as old leather too- Nabooru's really taken her fists to this baby and he's still standing. You've all seen this and it aint too bad so I'm starting the bid at 6000 rupees."

I saw Nabooru's face light up. That was good...that was...very good.

"8000 rupees!"

"8000 rupees for the girl at the back."

I stared into the back but the throng of people there blocked anything from view. Anything further than 10 metres away was a heat haze blur anyways.

"Any raise on eight thous-? Eight 100, thank you. Eight 200. Eight 300."

"10,000 rupees!"

There was a rustle of interest, excitement, andannoyance in the crowd.

"10,000 rupees. Any advance on 10,000 rupees? Going.........going................g-"

"STOP!!!"

The crowd, as a whole, swung around. Up the pass there galloped a horse; huge, black, and obviously dying of exhaustion. It got to the gates and, as its rider dismounted, it collapsed in a quivering mass of whipped, bleeding flesh.

The woman who'd dismounted was tall and powerfully built, even for a Gerudo. She was dressed in magnificent, pitch-black battle dress and her long black hair flew out behind her as she marched thunderously towards the stand, leaving her horse where it lay and drawing her huge scimitar with relish.

The auctioneer had her hand at her belt in an instant.

"Please, no arms at the auction."

"I WILL PAY YOU 50,000 RUPPEES FOR THIS FILTH!" the woman roared, jabbing a black-varnished finger at me.

Nabooru was nearly dying of happiness.

"50? 50 thousand? Erm, Ok, any raise on-?"

"Fifty one thousand," the girl with the violet eyes called, stepping out from the crowd. She wasn't looking at me though; she had her eyes set on the other bidder, and there was pure hatred in her gaze.

The woman in the black armour turned a sneering face to the younger girl.

"60 thousand," she said, with an added, "beat that" in the way she said it.

"61 thousand," the teenager countered.

"80 thousand rupees!"

The auctioneer was less than a foot away. Without turning or head or apparently moving her mouth, I heard her whisper, "do you want to live?"

I frowned. "Yeah," I hissed. What else do you say?

"Good. Me too. When Nahashi bids again, faint."

"Sorry?"

The auctioneer moved nearer, till we almost touching, and hissed in my ear.

"When the girl votes, pretend to get heatstroke and collapse."

Suddenly she was back to her normal routine. The audience, focused on the two bidders, hadn't noticed a thing.

"Do I have any advances on 70,000 thousand rupees?"

Nahashi hesitated. She lipped her dry lips, bit them, clenched her hands into tight fists. I realised she probably didn't have that much money.

"Seventy thousand and one rupees."

On cue, I let my legsdrop out beneath me. My head slammed into the hot planks. It hurt but I stayed still, face slack, eyes screwed up. The sun made the insides of my eyelids glow red.

"Looks like it's too hot for him, ladies.Let's call it a day. Bidding ends at seven thousand and one rupees. Item goes to Miss Nahashi Ganon for 60 thousand and one rupee," said the auctioneer.

There was an enraged roar, then someone yelled 'guards!' and a scuffle ensued, in which the huge scimitar smashed into the planks an inch from my face, exploding them into splinters. I lay completely still whilst the huge woman was subdued and carried away.

A hand grabbed me by the collar and lifted me. I felt myself being carried hurriedly through an excited crowd, into the coolness of a building, and, opening my eyes a bit, through a doorway.

-------------

Soory to finish it there but I've got revision to do so I wont be writting for a LOOOONNNNNGGGGG time.


	9. Name of new chapter

Next chapter: attempted resurrection of Ganondorf.  
  
------------------  
  
I was thrown down onto my feet.  
  
"Here's the boy. You remember our agreement?"  
  
I turned to my new owner, the one who bore Ganondorf's name. It was the beautiful girl. She looked quite pleased with herself.  
  
"You remember our agreement?" the auctioneer repeated, keeping a firm hand on my collar.  
  
"Of course. Any favours you require. And I won't have your head removed. Now, give me the boy."  
  
She hadn't yet unlocked her eyes with mine. I shuddered. It was as though she was boring into my soul, ripping apart the flesh to see the raw, naked spirit beneath. When I tried to look away, I found it physically impossible.  
  
"I require payment too."  
  
Nahashi waved a hand irritably. "It will be dealt with."  
  
"If it isn't, I'll take him straight to your sister. By the end of the week."  
  
...my free will melting away like an ice cube in a flame...  
  
The auctioneer released her grip. I was drawn forward on stumbling steps.  
  
"Just cash?"  
  
"Just cash."  
  
A hint of hesitation entered her eyes. She broke off the connection to look at the woman. I blinked, aware of myself once more.  
  
"We have a few magical artefacts we're looking to get rid off," Nahashi offered.  
  
The auctioneer was a cold businesswoman. "Visit a pawn shop then."  
  
And she stalked off.  
  
Nahashi turned back to me. I shut my eyes quickly.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"You have bewitching eyes."  
  
Her fingers pressed gently against my eyelids, trying to pry them apart. I snatch at her hand but it suddenly wasn't there.  
  
"Do they scare you?"  
  
"I prefer to have my wits about me. Especially around..."  
  
"Around what, boy?"  
  
Suddenly, her body was pressed against mine. I staggered away from her as she started laughing at my discomfort.  
  
"Around Ganon's child? You've got nothing to fear; I hated my father. I DO like you though."  
  
Her mischievous laughter grew close and I snatched out at where it was coming from. My hand caught nothing.  
  
"We're different from our fathers, y'know. You don't have to fight me."  
  
Again, with a devilish laugh, she pressed herself to me and, as I stepped back, I collided with the wall, trapped. She seized the opportunity, and I was crushed against the stone. I could feel her, every curve, every beat of her heart in her breast, the pulse of her blood through her body, the heat of her skin. Her lips brushed mine...  
  
She broke away.  
  
"Of course, if you don't want to..."  
  
"My family would kill me."  
  
"So? Who cares? They're hundreds of miles away. Do you think your father cared?" She sighed. "Never mind. Leave it. Lets go hunting instead."  
  
---------------  
  
We did. I was terrible.  
  
Usually, I'm a good hunter. But that's back in the Lost Woods, on horseback, using bows and throwing spears.  
  
Gerudos, it seems, hunt with knives and claws. On foot. In the dessert. And there's a difference between a few frightened forest rabbits and the Ravenous Desert Bugblatter Beast.  
  
I waded through the sandstorm, knee deep in sand, as bodiless roars and hunting screams raged around me.  
  
Shielding my eyes against the merciless waves of sand, I saw the blurry form of a beast run past, a deep gash in its side, back legs buckling with exhaustion. Nahashi leapt on the thing and started hacking murderously at it with the knives tied to her arms. They rolled away into the storm.  
  
"Nahashi!" I yelled, chasing after her. "Nahashi!"  
  
But everywhere I looked was just orange fuzz.  
  
In the distance, the faint echoes of an enraged yell, tossed about by the winds.  
  
"Nahashi!"  
  
A shape was bounding towards me. I raised my weapon. A metre away, and it was still a blur.  
  
"I got a leg!" the thing I'd just been about the stab said excitedly.  
  
Something was thrown at me. I caught it. One end was a trotter, the other a bloody stump.  
  
"I'm gonna go catch the rest of it."  
  
For a long time, I saw and heard nothing of her. It's difficult to say how much time passed but, eventually, it got so dark I could barely see my hand in front of my face.  
  
I crouched in the raging storm, as the penetrating desert chill started to seem into my body. My skin was raw, burnt, and bleeding.  
  
So this was her plan. To leave me to die in the desert. I'd actually been stupid enough to trust her.  
  
Just as I thought I was going to curl up and die, something landed on me and rolled me over in the sand.  
  
"I got it!"  
  
She waved a carcass in my face. It had been stabbed so many times so viciously, there wasn't much left of it.  
  
"Great. C-c-an we go b-b-back now?"  
  
"You cold?" she asked from where she sat proudly on my chest.  
  
How could she not be cold? Most people wore more on beaches. Most people wore more in showers.  
  
"J-just a b-b-b-bit."  
  
----------------  
  
"Its an old outpost," Nahashi screamed back. "We use them on long hunting trips."  
  
The building was a stump of a tower, ten metres wide, its golden stone walls worn smooth by years of abrasion. The Gerudo went to the base, shovelled away some of the sand that had heaped up against the side, and kicked at the metal panel she uncovered.  
  
"In here!"  
  
A ladder led down a tunnel that dropped down into the tower. At the bottom of the ladder there was a darkened room.  
  
"Lights!" Nahashi commanded. Torches burst instantly to flame, filling the tiny room with warmth and a flickering red glow.  
  
We each heaved sighs of relief and shook the sand from our hair. I took off my boots and a ton poured out.  
  
"Still cold?"  
  
"Freezing."  
  
"You know what we do when we're cold in Gerudo Fortress?"  
  
"Play chess?"  
  
"Nope." She moved closer, the carcass dropping from her fingers and sliding seductively down her leg. "Shall I show you?"  
  
REMEMBER THE EYES, DUMBASS  
  
"You don't want to watch, huh?" she smiled, when I clamped my eyes shut. "Fine by me."  
  
"I told you: I promised my family I wouldn't."  
  
"They'd never know," she teased. "Come on. You know you want it. I know you want it. Think of it as helping International Relations."  
  
I paused.  
  
"You think my parents would be proud of that?"  
  
"Sure they would."  
  
She wrapped her arms around my waist and sank her head onto my chest.  
  
"Think of it as helping to keep Royal Blood going."  
  
"I feel like I've been tenderised. Maybe some other time."  
  
"I'll be gentle."  
  
I gave her a doubtful silence.  
  
"I'll try," she corrected.  
  
I shrugged. "OK. What the sacred realm." 


End file.
